[00:00:00] Speaker A: Foreign.
Welcome to Disability Empowerment now season four. I'm your host, Keith Mevigi Ginsini. Today I'm talking to Natasha Hickling, podcast of the Indigo Diaries.
Natasha, welcome to the show.
[00:00:38] Speaker B: Oh, thank you, Keith. What an introduction. It's great to be here.
[00:00:42] Speaker A: So tell me about yourself and your podcast.
[00:00:49] Speaker B: Yeah, so I'm Tasha or Natasha. I'm not bothered.
I, I, it's one of those moments where you think, oh, I need to introduce myself, but I don't. I want to keep it short. So I'm trying to, like, trying to summarize it all in one, but then your brain goes blank. So I'm based in the UK, so obviously where you are it's like 9am, but here it's 5pm I, I'm 32. I am an aid or I'm an ADH, neurodivergent life coach and therapist, trauma informed therapist, and I have adhd. I'm autistic.
Dyslexia and dyspraxia, I found out was neurodivergent when I was in my 20s and my 30s, very like kind of late diagnosis. And I started running my podcast during COVID as a way for people to hear stories because at the time I was in Asia, where there wasn't a lot of kind of, you know, there wasn't a lot of anything around kind of diversity or disability. So that's why I started it, to try and build that awareness where I was.
And then I ended up being just loving it and carrying it on.
[00:01:57] Speaker A: So why did you choose the name Indigo Diaries or Indigo Hub?
[00:02:05] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, so, so it's a long story short. Good. Long story short, indeed. There's a, there's a book called the Indigo Children. It's a quite an old book and it's about children that are different. And children have these, like, kind of special strengths and abilities are very different from kind of the, like, you know, the average person. And when I was going through my teenage years, I didn't really know what was going on with me. I thought I was weird, I thought I just didn't, I never really fitted in right. I never was kind of in the norm and I had a lot of struggles kind of mental health wise.
And because nobody could give me what actually was going on for me, my sister kind of introduced me to this book of the Indigo Children. And it was just a way of relating to, even though they, you know, I didn't, did, couldn't relate to them, you know, all the way. It was just kind of like this permission to be. It's okay that to not kind of fit in and to have difficulties and struggles. And it kind of gave me a sense of, kind of belonging that I. I'd wanted my whole life.
So I started. So the word indigo has always been with me since then, really. And when I settle my business and my podcast, I wanted to bring that for the people.
[00:03:15] Speaker A: So you're a neurodivergent coach or life coach, mentor.
I've seen that trades or that job title a lot more recently nowadays, particularly on LinkedIn, which. Which is how we met.
What got you into that line of work and how did you prepare for it?
[00:03:54] Speaker B: Yeah, that's a good question. Like, yeah, and it is. It's seen a lot more since, like, Covid and everything happened. It's become quite a big profession. But I was diagnosed with ADHD during COVID and I. And I'd been through therapy and things like that. And the thing that was kind of pausing was me, how I actually work with my difference. How do I actually do this? And then this term, ADHD coach came along, and it was. It was very much coined in America when I first started, I was in Asia, it wasn't really a thing in the uk and. And I had this ADHD coach. So I started seeing somebody and I was like, wow, this is amazing. Like, what this person can do. For me, it's not giving me tips and tricks, it's just about them seeing me, helping me understand my brain and how it works. And I was like, well, I could do this because I was working in schools with children like myself.
I ran the special needs department in my school. And I was like, wow, I. I really want to do this for the people.
And that's why I then went after. I'd gone through the process a lot myself, I went and trained in that because I wanted to give people something that I never had, but earlier on, especially life.
[00:05:04] Speaker A: So how did you design your logo that I see right behind you? It's very.
That it's gonna be shameful. Very eye catching.
Ha ha ha.
It's an eye can't make veg stuff up people. How did you settle on that logo? And what's the difference between the Indigo Diaries podcast and the Indigo Hub?
[00:05:56] Speaker B: Yeah. Thank you. And I really like your eye catching. It is very eye catching because it's an eye.
When I was. When I was young, someone said to me that understanding, like, differences and disabilities is not about trying to relate to someone, but it's about trying to see it from through their Eyes, it's like trying to understand what they live through. You don't need to empathize it. You know, we just need to kind of.
[00:06:21] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:06:21] Speaker B: Understand. Just take a minute to kind of understand what it's like from their perspective and then from that. I always seen that kind of eye that no one would ever really look at it through my eyes. It was always kind of their own stereotypes or whatever, and I never really fitted that. So that's why I came with the eye, and then it kind of went quite nicely with the Indigo.
So I. That's why I came up with. Because it's my. My kindness kind of the world to your own eyes. Right. Because sometimes we're skewed from other people. I want people to see it through my eyes.
[00:06:52] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:06:52] Speaker B: But I also want people to.
I also want to see clearly through my own eyes because a lot of my life has been skewed by other people's views of me that then made me not be able to see myself, if that makes sense. And then Indigo Hub and Indigo Diaries. So Indigo Diaries and started first, and then Indigo Hub is like my hub, a place where all my kind of things actually do quite a lot of different things.
So Hub is like kind of the umbrella for all the different things I do.
[00:07:20] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:07:21] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:07:22] Speaker A: So how often do you do podcast episodes and what are they like?
[00:07:32] Speaker B: So for the past, I haven't made any this year, actually, for the first year in a while, because I've been going through my therapy training, so I've had a lot going on.
But when I first started it, I did it as kind of everyone just coming on to tell their story of being neurodivergent and what that looked like, you know, to hear other people's kind of views. And then I kind of went into experts around. Different kind of experts are coming in to talk about kind of different areas of neurodivergency and. And. And. And that kind of aspect. But I love it because I'm a. You probably tell. I'm a verbal processor. I like to talk.
So it also helps me to.
Yeah. Because I just love learning, so I like.
[00:08:11] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. So you may have mentioned that before. What kind of therapy training are you doing?
[00:08:23] Speaker B: So I'm doing something called Trauma Informed Somatic Therapy. So it's around kind of how traumas had an impact on our body and kind of helping people to unlock that. So it was kind of the second element because a lot of my clients would come to me or myself and have coaching, but actually a lot of it is around other things that have happened in our lives. So I wanted to be able to help people with that full picture. So that's why I'm going through that training at the minute.
[00:08:51] Speaker A: So where do you want your hub to openly end up?
Obviously make a difference.
But like this podcast, which is now a video cats and it's about to become a non profit next year, was always designed to be a interview show.
I can talk for two or three hours by myself.
If I want to do that, I'll just do it in front of my mirror. I don't find that to be that appealing, that engaging. I find like you sharing and interviewing people about their live experiences and their stories.
It's much more what attracted me to this mode.
What about you? It's not just a podcast, it's a coaching upgraded. That may be the wrong term, but where do you see yourself going with this?
[00:10:38] Speaker B: That's a good question.
And it's actually, for once in my life, actually made me stop and think for a minute before I just because.
[00:10:45] Speaker A: I'm welcome.
[00:10:48] Speaker B: I could talk for hours like you could.
But I think for me, because when I was 16, I didn't have that place to belong.
I wanted to, you know, kind of offer that space for people where they could, where they can belong, where they can figure it out, where they can, you know, have somebody that sees it through their own, their eyes, not through mine. Because that's what being a therapist and coach is. It's about leaving your biases at the door and just being there and offering that space for that person.
And that's what I wanted to create that space where people can find themselves, really be themselves so that they can do that in their own life and they can set their life up for that rather than what they think they need or deserve or what other people have told them that they have to have or, you know, systems. And that's what I always wanted to create moving forward. I just want to keep doing this like whatever I do, whether it's therapy, coaching, podcast. That's what I want to do, is to create this space where people feel belong, where people can really figure out what, what it is that they need to do, what they want to do, what they expect, the butterfly effect really, you know, you touch one and then it helps.
And that's, you know, if I can help one person that I've helped one person.
[00:11:58] Speaker A: So what did you like taking a break from the podcast to focus on your therapy training.
[00:12:13] Speaker B: Hard?
Because I've, I've missed talking to people. You Know like I, I mean I love talking to my clients but I like talking to you know, like more on this aspect. You know, it's, it's a different sort of kind of experience and I've missed that and I've missed that platform to be able to do that because a lot of my clients or people that I speak to, they really like that, having that space to listen to things like that. So I have really missed that and that wealth of knowledge. But I, you know, when you, you know, like when you took too much at your life, you only give it kind of half heartedly and I want to put everything into everything I do and I can't spread myself thin. I've done that too many times. That, that, that for me doesn't work. So that's what I've kind of done for now.
[00:12:53] Speaker A: Yeah, I've noticed expensive. When I started doing video catching it's made the dynamic and the chemistry a lot more appealing because we're such visual people we can be. We rely on non verbal communication and I just find it much more invigorating than just doing a regular podcast because you have that enhanced connection with someone and not judge disembodied voice now the will at all disembody void seeds. But it's like. And so when you did your podcast, do you judge do podcasts or do you also do video cats as well?
[00:14:23] Speaker B: I agree with you 100%. When I did my podcast I did it just voice because I was almost kind of scared to be kind of on camera and I remember going on to someone's a couple of years ago and doing it on camera for the first time and being like.
Because it was about myself. But like when I speak to clients and stuff like that, I much prefer when I could see especially for me autistic, you know, trying to read the voice is not. I can't always tell the tone and all that sort of stuff. So I need this visual to be able to see it.
[00:14:50] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:14:51] Speaker B: You know, to what I've got more, I've got more kind of cues to go off if I can. You know, that's why I hate phone calls. But, but I, yeah, I'm definitely going to. I think I've grown a lot in my confidence in my own self so that I now if I was when I started again, hopefully next year I will go into videos because I 100% agree and I think, I think it gives not only for us but also for the audience to be able to see all right.
[00:15:17] Speaker A: And it feels much Like a job, because you're actually.
The conversations are much, much, much more richer and fuller than just audio.
But I get asked, what's a Video Cats? And I'm like, well, okay, you know how hard Catch legend.
Well, a video cat.
You can watch it and you can listen to it.
The probably sounded a lot more sarcastic than I meant it. But I'm always bemused how podcasts have now become the norm. And that's one of the only good things the pandemic I had made. And I mean, who heard the word zoom before the pandemic I said.
But it bemused me that for some people, they don't know that Video Cats is like a enhanced podcast. Also, people who don't do podcasts, not all of them, but a lot of people think that podcasting of video casting is easy.
Which, to be fair, I thought the same thing before I started doing this, and now, I mean, it's my only job. It's my. My nine to five. I dream, I fantasize about it. Weird to say, but I can't shut my mind down. And I work with an incredible team who help me make it even better each and every nude season.
Do you ever find that reaction when you're talking about what you do to other people who are not in the industry or even the therapeutic industry?
Oh, that must be an easy job. You should get paid to sit in a room and listen to people talk about themselves and their problem.
If therapy was easy, we would all do it.
It's not easy whatsoever.
Not for the client and definitely not not for the therapist. There are.
There's more than one reason why the.
There are therapists who just see other therapists and so talk about that dynamic.
[00:19:41] Speaker B: Well, it's hard. I remember when I. Because I used to be a teacher, right? So when I used to say, I'm a teacher, people. Oh, yeah, yeah, that's cool. Yeah, yeah. And then when I say, like, what do you do now? Oh, I run a podcast. I do this. People go like, you kind of get a silence. Because people, they. And I get. A lot of people go, yeah. Like. Like, literally, like, blows them on. They're like, what? And then when I mentioned I used to do it on, I used to go like, I'm a neurodivergent life coach. And they go, what's. They either get neurodivergent life or coach. And they go, oh, like a coach, Like a sports coach. Or they get neurodivergent, and they're going to go, oh, that must be Rewarded. And then they, they don't ask anything else because a lot of people don't have any context. They don't know what is. And I think that's the hardest thing with when I tell people my job is that people don't get it. And I get people. But I really like it when people ask, you know, oh, okay, what is that? But then that's when you get people that really want to like, dig, dig in. But I get a lot of people that either don't ask or go, oh, okay, in the breeze over. Or they go, oh, that must be really easy. Like working for yourself at home. Like, oh yeah, that, you know, like it's a breeze.
[00:20:52] Speaker A: Oh yeah, yeah, it, it's totally a breed. I, I should really ask every therapist I've ever seen, I should ask them why they made so much money off of me if it was such a breeze.
That's a joke of its, if any of my damage to this episode. But it's like just working for yourself, it's like that much be so easy, what most people think. And it's not really that easy at all.
And so what is that like for you?
[00:21:53] Speaker B: I always say to people, if it was that easy, like if, if it was that easy, like, honestly, if, if I knew how much stuff went into this, I would probably choose something easier. Like if I wanted something easier, I would probably have stayed in Asia teaching what I did and carried on. But I don't like easy. Right. And that's the thing people get. I always say, well, if I wanted easy, I actually wouldn't be doing this because it's the opposite of that. You know, knowing, you know, when are you going to get your next client? Like, you know, and things like that. And the, the, in the 17 different hats, you, you get this that you have to wear. You know, you have to be a marketer, researcher, a network, a coach, a therapist. There's. I call myself an octopus sometimes. Like all these hands.
[00:22:38] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:22:42] Speaker B: It's really hard.
[00:22:43] Speaker A: Yeah, it, it's like. But late in America, there's this myth of the self made man or the self made woman. Like, you build yourself up, you work for yourself, your own thoughts and so it might be easy peasy, but it's not. I mean, people check out, out when in what they really could and do the deep dive, the dig in. People are silent.
It's like Vince podcast, which is now a video. Cats stopped becoming satisfied for me after season one because I didn't know if there was going to be a season Two or not. And then I keep out pacing myself each and every season because I want to keep people engaged and I want the people around me who work with me and alongside me to stay as engaged. Ads they are.
And if I'm.
I don't get into ruts here.
It's a brand new experience every time I turn on this microphone. No two interviews are the same.
And so it's.
But I'm not a therapist. And so how will it be? Because I'm sure you've thought about it. When you restart your podcasts or your video cats, you will have.
If you haven't completed your therapeutic training, you will be well on your way and so will having more therapy background in particularly trauma based therapy. How will that influence when you return to the podcast?
[00:25:47] Speaker B: I think just something to add on to what you said there. It. It's hard, but that's where the magic is, right? You know, like nothing worthwhile is ever easy. I know that's a very kind of coined, you know, very, you know, but it is, it's so true. Like I, that's what I love about my job. No days the same.
And it is hard, but without that hard, I wouldn't do what I did, right. Because if it was easy, I'd get bored because I'm adhd. But also it's, it's that joy and stuff that it brings. And I think that kind of goes into when I, when I, you know, finish my training and start bringing into it. It's just, it's going to be the same. I mean it's me, but I grown and it's just a richness that's going to kind of come into it where. Because there was a lot of stuff that I couldn't go into, you know, because obviously as a coach, it's more about moving forward. A therapist, it's kind of about the past and it's kind of, that's a very brief term, but it just is just going to add more richness to the end and kind of more kind of truth, which is what I wanted. That's why retrain to be a therapist because I wanted people to go kind of a bit deeper, to really understand everything about themselves, to move forward. And I think that's what I'm going to bring into my podcast is just kind of more truth and more depth and that. Well, that's the great thing about when you run a podcast or video cast or, you know, whatever you do, you can, you can keep it, you can, you can change it up, you can Mix it up, you can do. That's the brilliant thing about it.
[00:27:09] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, I. I call that a show now because a show.
I don't like having to always say video cats, pod cats, or just going to show our program because that's what it's becoming.
I love that I'm able to offer reads now two different ways to absorb this program on a weekly basis. I absolutely love it because you can watch it on your tv, on your computer, or you can listen to it on your phone or in your car.
I mean, that's John's invigorating for me as the host.
And I love being able to interview people because it keeps it very interesting. And the humor, the dynamic, the chemistry of which, again, you.
You see and you even hear a lot more of the chemistry to the video because we are actually looking at each other. We're not wondering, I wonder what he looks like. I wonder what she looks like. Blah, blah. I wonder what her logo actually looks like that's imposed on your bedroom ceiling. Or is that a zoom background? I literally cannot tell.
[00:29:37] Speaker B: Oh, no, it's. Well, no, I don't like zoom backgrounds because they. They mess with my revision. But no, it's actually like my office, my work office upstairs that I. Yeah. That I wanted to. Yeah.
[00:29:51] Speaker A: Yeah. It's like, why would someone record a professional anyway?
Stranger things have happened.
Stranger things gently have happened.
[00:30:10] Speaker B: Definitely. Yeah. I had someone once record from a closet because the kids were out. So, like, you know, like a walking closet. You know, these things. You know, we do what we need to do.
[00:30:19] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, yeah. And when I'm recording in my New York location, because they're doing construction all around my building outside, I actually record in my dad's closet, which is a tiny, like, prison cell that had a light that comes on the moment you open the door. And I'm just sitting on a stool and my computer is on a TV tray.
It's on TV table. You do what you need to do to make the magic happen.
And so going back to.
It's. That's what you envision yourself doing.
Because it certainly wasn't what I envisioned myself doing.
[00:31:39] Speaker B: No, no, I didn't. Like, I very much came out of university, went into teaching and thought, I'm, you know, I'm going to be a head teacher. I might want to own my school. Like, you know, that's very much where I was going.
And then I just kept getting drawn and drawn and drawn to kind of neurodivergent children and just kind of getting drawn I'm like, why? Well, obviously because of me.
But then, you know, without that. That kind of training has helped me with this. But no, not once did they ever think I would be living here with a big eye on the back of my wall. You know, being a therapist, you know, it's.
[00:32:13] Speaker A: It's.
[00:32:13] Speaker B: But that's the great thing about this, right? Life chucks things at you and you make something.
And I think that that's the great thing about kind of what we do is we're trying to make something out of something that's happened or. Or something that we experience. And I think that's a great thing. But no, not once did I ever think that, to be honest, when I was 12, I wanted to be a pop star. So.
[00:32:41] Speaker A: Fighter, fighter, astronaut.
Because I wanted to be able to exit the world without actually.
[00:32:54] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:32:56] Speaker A: And so. But no.
And sure, I wanted to be a pop.
So myself.
Because when you grow up legend into the back street boys, insane think enhancing.
How could you not want to do that for a living?
But I'm sure there are some people who do podcasting or video casting for fun, but we don't.
We do it to give something back.
And all reads.
That's how I am.
When people, when you tell people you run a podcast, do they think you're just doing it as a hobby or because you're bored?
[00:34:10] Speaker B: Yeah, like, like it's some sort of. And it is fun and I love learning. But like, yeah, when, really, when you, when you talk about, like, what sort of podcast you're doing, people kind of, then. That's. The people that then ask, right? You know, not the people that kind of just stand and go, okay, great, and move on. You know, people that ask, they, they. Then they. They get it because it's. It's like you said there, it's. It's giving something back, it's sharing, you know, your experience with others. It's helping other people like yourself or, you know, creating that space, awareness, all of that stuff. And that. And that is, you know, I think. I think for me, the best job I could ever have is using my own experience to help other people. Right. And giving back and doing what you can. And, and that is. This is. For me, I don't know about you. This is more than a job.
[00:34:57] Speaker A: Yeah, Yeah. I mean, did she ladenly.
What I want people to remember me for? This is the only thing on in my obituary other than hopefully starting a family that people should remember about me. Oh, and my voice. You can forget my name. You can forget my rugged good looks.
You will judge always remember my voice.
Cause I bled sweat and cried over count, let's count let's outs of speech, speech therapy and so you'll remember my voids for the rest of your life. I don't care what else you forget.
You will remember my voice.
So the voids, the family, eventually, hopefully. But really, this is what I want to do for the rest of my.
And so yes, it's very much more than a job. I mean, you don't dream about your job, even if you're in love with your job.
You don't fantasize about your job.
You do preach seek medical help immediately.
Psych.
But no, it is.
And you can speak to that are disputed. It is a life calling. It is what I feel. It's literally what I've been put on this to do.
[00:37:25] Speaker B: I 100% agree. And I was going to say, like, I feel that it's a part of who I am.
Like it. It's a part of who I am as a person. You know, when I think about my job, I think some of my, you know, people's strengths or things like that, some of my best strengths, my best qualities come out in what I do as a job. And, And I think that's a part of. It's, you know, it's an extension of who I am. Which means that it's. It's the destiny and it's the path I was put on here for. Right. Because we get put on here for. I couldn't agree with you. To do what we need to do. But that's because it's. That's who we are, Right?
[00:38:00] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:38:00] Speaker B: You know, I think that's the. The real. But then that's the difference between people that just do a job. Right. And people that did they love and they want to do. Because it is an extension of what we are.
[00:38:11] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. And so you'll relaunch your podcasts, Video Cats next. You know, your.
Besides the video Cats and the mentoring, what.
What are some other aspects of the hub you're creating?
Are you thinking of writing a book, becoming a neurodivergent pop star and recording and releasing album? How? I don't know. That's why I'm asking here. It's like, what's the hub about?
Because that hub seems like you could be very diverse. Different collection of. Of offerings.
[00:39:30] Speaker B: Yeah. And that's what I wanted to do. I wanted to create that offering where it can be endless. Right.
[00:39:34] Speaker A: And.
[00:39:35] Speaker B: And for me for next year, like, because I finished my therapy training at the end of this year. So I'll be transitioning rather than just congratulations. Thank you. I'll be going into kind of like the therapy space and, and, and, and kind of launching my therapy and coaching practice which then is where would. Then I'll introduce a new podcast and. But it's, or pick it up and kind of go more depth. But it's, it's that thing of in five years, I don't know. And that's, that's what I like about it. I mean I always had. But they, they change all the time. I'm not going to lie. So I kind of just go on kind of year to year. But it's very much. That's why I wanted to call it where it could never end and grow.
Because you know what, I might want to do this or one year, you know, I might want to in five years be a pop star or you know, the hub becomes a clinic or whatever it is. You know I think that's the best thing about this is it doesn't have to be defined.
[00:40:28] Speaker A: Yeah. Like the non profit is to add more structure and legitimacy with the 501C3 backing designation. Backing.
I mean the expansion opportunities that go out of the nonprofit are just like the hub inlets. And it's about setting something up that will outlive me and out perform what I'm able to do with it.
I, I created, I founded this show. It doesn't stop when I leave it. It doesn't stop with the large breath I take on this.
It continues until it needs to end. I want, I'm not going to live to see a world where this type of show is no longer required. Required.
But I'm not.
I believe it's possible that we will get there, but I don't need to see everything.
I wasn't around 80 years ago.
I did.
Yeah.
So.
Okay. And so the wrapping up the final two questions I'd like to ask my guests is engage. There are any inspiring podcaster, video games, hamsters, therapists, coaches, you will many, many different hats.
What would be some action steps or some advice you would give them?
[00:43:19] Speaker B: I think it goes back to like what you said about kind of, you know, who are you? Like who are you? Like what is it that you're here for?
Right. Because people, you know, therapist podcasts, whatever people say like what's your mission? What's your purpose, what you're doing?
But I think it's more than that. I think it comes back to kind of who, who Are you. What are your strengths? You know, what is your environment like? What do you want to create?
You know, because, you know, we all want to be.
You know, there's. There's my famous quote about the flower. You know, you fix the environment in which it grows. Not a flower, right. When a flower doesn't bloom. And it's my favorite quote, because if something's not working in your life, it's not always it. A lot of us go, oh, it is. But actually, it's what's around us. And it's about looking at what we are, what do we bring to this world, what do we enjoy, what do we like, what brings us joy, what brings us smile, what experience do we have through our life? It's been made us resilient, that's made us here. And what do we want to do with that? And then what's the mission? What you doing? What are you gonna. How are you gonna voice? How are you gonna get your clients or whatever from that? Because I think it. We focus so much on the what rather than the who. You know, what are we doing? What are we trying to say? What rather than who are we doing this for? Why are we doing? You know, that comes. The basis of anything, is looking at who you are, what your strengths are, what qualities you bring, what's important to you, and then from that, what do you want to bring? How are you going to make it happen? And all that, the doing. But first you've got to look at the being and who you are and what. What it is that you want to bring to this world or what it is you want to do for the rest of you. And it doesn't have to be for the rest of your life. It can just be for this moment, for this year, for this, you know, and that's the magic about this, right? You can change it up. So I think that's also the other element. If you start along a path and it's not the right path, that's fine, you know, get a boss, spin it round, go on another path. But I think it always, whatever path you take, it comes back to the who you are, because that's something that really gets missed in everything.
[00:45:22] Speaker A: I like to think that both advocates with disabilities and those who have yet to discover or embrace their own disabilities view that program.
[00:45:44] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:45:44] Speaker A: I'm not naive enough to think that either group or groups within those groups take away the same things from each episode.
So as my guess, what do you hope that advocates with disabilities take away from everything we've Talked about.
And what do you hope that those who have. Have yet to discover or embrace their disability take away from the separate.
[00:46:34] Speaker B: So I think that it. Well, it's very similar to what I said about the job, right? Is that with every thing around you and about you, as hard as life can be. Because I. I know it can be really hard when you feel like you're the problem, you're the person. That's thing. You're. You're the person because you've been pushed aside, whatever it is.
But actually it. It is around what's around you. What, what, you know, what are you doing? What are you. Where are you being? And.
And we can use that experience that we go through with the magic.
We. We find the magic in that. And it's hard because when you're in it, you cut. You don't feel like there's any magic. You don't feel like there's any turnaround. And that's fine. Be in that, right? Be where you are. But there is another side to it. When you really kind of go into what's going on, there is another side. The way you can, like, be, you know, every day being autistic, having a. Is really difficult, right? Going out, doing. I could go on for hours, but I. I'm doing something with it.
I'm trying to. I know who I am. I'm trying to build that. And we need help to do that, right? You know, please seek help. Do what you need to do to be able to get that. But when we can create that, we can bloom and we can blossom to the way we're meant to do it. And it comes back to the who, right?
With. With. With every who. We're human, right? There's. There's downsides and upsides, but in the down, we can get some of the most beautiful stuff because we can do something with it. And I think that creates who. Who we are or who we were meant to be. And I just think that that is the biggest thing I can go down to is even if things feels like it's really hard, there is going to be an up, there will be a repair, there will be a moving forward. You've just got to find that whether that's seeking out, whether that's doing this, whether that's, you know, advocating. Everybody's got a purpose and everyone deserves to be here, however different that may look or be.
[00:48:32] Speaker A: And so what had.
How have people were going into overtime? Now, how would normally I ask this question way earlier on in the epidural, but I think kids will duck till very nicely with what you just said.
What is your journey like growing up and embracing your advocacy and propelling edge to the Indigo Hub was like a roller coaster.
[00:49:29] Speaker B: It was up and down. Right. It was when I was growing up, because I didn't know.
I think that was the biggest thing. It was like I lived my life in the dark. Right. I didn't know. I didn't know who I was. So I always just thought it was me that was wrong, me that was wrong, me that was pushed out, me that had everybody's got these struggles or it's just me. There's something wrong with me. And I. There was so much self blame because nobody understood, nobody had the. The context or the awareness or anything like that. So you blame you shame. You create this narrative around yourself. I don't deserve to be here. I don't deserve to be in this world. It's just me that struggles what's going on. And then when. When I was diagnosed, it was almost like putting a light on and then seeing things from a different way.
Finally seeing things from the way I was meant to the eye. Right.
Rather than what I'd been told. The light was on. I could see everything. And it's not so easy as in, like get diagnosed, the light turns on. But it was very much I had to go through, you know, I went through therapy, went through advocacy, speaking to other people, learning about it, changing environments. And it was hard. And it wasn't then I found out I was diagnosed. Yeah, you know, that's it. It was hard and that was some of the hardest times. But I knew as hard as it's been since I've been diagnosed, I knew that it wasn't just me. And I knew that I actually belong. And it just created this calmness with me where I just didn't blame myself, didn't blame myself that I'm autistic. I didn't blame myself. This is just the way I am. And I'm gonna. I'm gonna use that and I'm gonna embrace that and I'm gonna turn that around. And it's taken many years and many things and many store. But in that we. And. And some days I'm still like, oh, you know, but without that time of my life, I wouldn't be able to do what I do. I won't be able to offer. I wouldn't be. I wouldn't have the life I have now, which I'm very thankful for and privileged for.
Without all that, I wouldn't I wouldn't have the light. Does that make sense? And like, I wouldn't.
[00:51:23] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:51:25] Speaker B: And I wouldn't. I wouldn't see. I always say, like, the first eight years of my life, there was a light because I was still trying to figure out who was. And then the dark camera game and then the lights come back on because I finally started to create the environment where I. Where I blossom. Not all the time. You know, we're human. Yeah, but I blossom. Rather than trying to fix myself, I just looked around because it's not what's wrong with me, it's what's wrong around me that I needed to change.
[00:51:51] Speaker A: Quid. Write a book. Because throughout the episode I keep wanting to turn to the next page listening to you and I'm like, yeah, you should really ask to write a book. Because it's another angle, another offering in the inlets expansion of the hub. I'll become a neurodivergent pop star. I mean, you never know. Watch this space.
What?
[00:52:36] Speaker B: Watch this space. You never know.
[00:52:38] Speaker A: Yeah, dreams do happen.
Natasha, I. I hope we do another episode again. If you want me to come on your pod cats when launch, please know that Willane, you're always welcome here. Thank you for staying up or sharing some of your evening with a early riser.
Don't tell my dog I said that. You're not an early at all.
If she could talk.
But I really like to do another episode because all how the Americans and how the Americans view disability and how UK and EU disability.
We have very different methods and different disability movements and that would be a great talk about research heavy efforts episode that would. And we will probably need to bring in a few more people to really unpack it all. But I mean, hey, I'm just spitballing here. There is no script people.
We are in season four.
People think that. That I operate with the script.
Where have you been?
What show have you been legend for? Natasha, I really thank you for coming on this show this morning. I hope we keep in touch and. And record another episode. Congratulations again for finishing your training.
I look forward to watching you grow bloom, seeing everything you're creating through the Indigo Hub and the Indigo Diaries and creeds. Keep in touch and thank you again.
You have been listening to Disability Empowerment. Now I would like to thank my guests.
You are listener and the disability empowerment team that made this episode possible.
More information about the podcast can be
[email protected] or on our social media.
Disability Empowerment now.
The podcast is available wherever you listen to podcasts are on the official website.
Don't forget to rate, comment and share the podcasts. This episode of disability empowerment knowledge copyrighted 2020.
