Episode Transcript
[00:00:05] Speaker A: Welcome to Disability Empowerment now season four. I'm your host, Keith Murphy Dancini. Today I'm talking to my dear friends Freddie Pang and Meg Gray, who go to the same church I go to in Tucson, Arizona. Damaged Road, Tucson.
They are a neurodivergent couple who are about to be married in a few months and when this episode airs, will already be married. Freddy and Meg, welcome to the show.
[00:00:59] Speaker B: Thank you. Glad to have. Glad to be here.
[00:01:03] Speaker A: Thank you for that, for listening to that long winded introduction.
As I said, we met a long, long time ago in a church far, far away.
Star wars hub, cultural reference.
Anyway, we've known each other for about two or three years now, right?
[00:01:40] Speaker C: I'd say probably around three because I started coming into Damascus Road around like 20, 21 ish back when we were still doing like the backyard churches. So. So, yeah, probably like three years at this point.
[00:01:54] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:01:55] Speaker A: Tons of skewed.
[00:01:58] Speaker B: Yeah, three years for me, I think maybe five, maybe even six years for us. Because I was still a student when we met Keith.
[00:02:06] Speaker A: Yeah. And I think I would still on teaching team then.
Yeah, I was.
Man, do I feel old.
[00:02:23] Speaker C: Time is an illusion. I don't know.
[00:02:26] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, let's go with that.
Let's talk about how you two met. Kurds. I've heard that story several times. I never get tired of hearing it. It's so romantic in collegy, but so relatable.
It's like long come, but in real life.
Why don't you tell it?
[00:03:06] Speaker C: Yeah. So I started doing ballroom dancing when I was a senior in high school and I really loved the sport and decided that I wanted to keep doing it when I went to college. So I joined the U of A ballroom dancing club. And at my first day at the club, I saw Freddy across the room and went, I wanna dance with him.
But then, you know, he kind of accidentally eyeled me. It's a really long story. It was not directed at me, but I thought it was. And for like three months after that I was like, nah, that Freddy guy, he's cute, but he's. He's too sarcastic. It ain't worth it.
Then we started talking more often. We did a showcase and a competition together and the rest is history. We've been together coming up on four years by the time we get married this fall.
[00:04:00] Speaker A: Yeah, you two are always inseparable, which is great. It's how it should be.
Before we go further, what got you two into ballroom dancing? Because that, is that a college sport? The UA is known for its sports Programs of chords. And I've never heard of ballroom dancing being popular. I'm being procedured. I'm just assuming that some listeners of viewers may not be as aware as to how popular ballroom dancing is on college campuses. Can you talk about how both of you got involved?
[00:05:08] Speaker C: Well, for me, like I said, I started off and it was an elective offered my senior year of high school. It was actually taught by the calculus teacher. He was a very interesting man, ex marine. And he held the voice of an.
[00:05:21] Speaker B: Announcer, ladies and gents.
[00:05:23] Speaker C: He talked like this at all times. He sounded like a TV announcer, ladies and gents. And he just liked ballroom dancing and decided to teach it as an elective at my high school. And it was pretty popular and I had a lot of friends that were in there, but I was never all that confident until finally my senior year, I. I signed up for it and I loved it.
How about you, Freddie?
[00:05:51] Speaker B: Right. So for me, I actually got into ballroom dancing. The story is a little embarrassing, but because I was to meet women.
[00:06:06] Speaker A: You pretty. George said what every man is thinking.
[00:06:15] Speaker C: Well, it worked.
[00:06:17] Speaker B: It did huge.
It did indeed work. But it. That was one aspect of it. The other is, I don't know. I've always felt more interested in like the more, I guess, like quirkier hobbies.
So just plain old stuff. Like I like to watch sports and play basketball or something like that. I mean, those are fine. And Annie, this isn't me bashing on them or anything, but I also felt like, yeah, to speak perfectly frankly, it just feels like everyone. Their mother is into those kinds of things. That's not particularly interesting.
[00:06:59] Speaker A: So how did you two find and choose the U of A? And what gravitated you to seeking out their ballroom dancing program? Because you both discovered it, I'm assuming in either middle school or high school. And so what.
What made you continue the patch of ballroom dancing?
[00:07:47] Speaker C: I don't know. I just really loved it. I love the connection. I loved interacting with people. Building it made me a lot more confident, you know, I could get up there in a competition, just dance and have fun. I've also never been the athletic type, but ballroom is a different athletic. You get to, you know, wear shiny ball gowns and do your makeup and just be a Disney princess. And it's legitimately exhausting. You come home all sweaty, feeling disgusting, but for all anyone knows, you're Cinderella up there.
[00:08:23] Speaker A: What about you, Freddie?
[00:08:27] Speaker B: For me, the U of A, it was just in town and it was kind of the best option. After I weighed all my options, for all the different schools I've been accepted to. But as for why the U of A's ballroom dance club specifically? Well, another friend of mine at the time had mentioned the club and when I expressed interest in, she kind of like as introduced me to everybody there.
And even though she left the club, stepped back from it for a variety of reasons, I still kept going with the club pretty long term.
[00:09:03] Speaker A: And so who asked who out? And how did you both discover you were neurodivergent?
[00:09:19] Speaker C: As far as who asked who, it was not exactly cut and dry. Technically he officially asked me out, but I dropped plenty of pence along the way. We're just gonna watch Emperor's New Groove in my apartment this weekend. I know it's your favorite movie and yeah, that, that was. That whole entire day was an ordeal. He asked me out at like three in the morning after everything had finally settled down. But he was, he was too shy to do it. So not until a very long awkward laughing fit. At first that made me question what in the world was happening because he just busted up laughing out of nowhere.
[00:10:05] Speaker A: So how did you two find out you were no Divergent?
And what would that like growing up with and how did it impact your relationship?
[00:10:26] Speaker C: Well, for me, I was diagnosed with OCD in 2020 when I first started seeing a counselor and a psychiatrist. Because 2020, I mean, who didn't need a therapy back then? But amen, therapy is a good thing. I, I still go. So it's not. Not just a back then thing, but anyways, therapy is good. But that's what kind of kickstarted me into it, honestly.
So yeah, I was diagnosed with OCD back in 2020 and I really didn't know much about OCD. It's not like what you see in the movies where everyone's just going, oh, I have to have everything absolutely clean and in order. That's not quite what it is. It's more the feeling of unless I do everything right, something terrible is going to happen. It's my fault. Even if it's like a chain of event later down the line, like, oh, I made this one silly little mistake that didn't really affect anybody. But what if it did?
And yeah, just retrospectively it, it made a lot of sense in my life. I think back in high school I was dealing with some pretty bad OCD anxiety and along with OCD comes intrusive thoughts. As my counselor explained it, everybody gets intrusive thoughts. But the difference between OCD and a neurotypical is a neurotypical Go, that's weird. And just shrug it off. Meanwhile, ocd, you just dwell on it. Oh, my gosh, my terrible person. Oh, what can I do to stop this terrible thing from happening? Oh, I gotta cancel this out. It was not a good time.
[00:12:11] Speaker A: What about you, Freddie?
[00:12:13] Speaker B: Yeah, for me, I think I was about 5 or 6 when I. My parents, I think, took me to a pediatrician or some other healthcare professional whose exact title I don't recall right now.
Yeah, they, I think ran some like. Or had me do some, like, behavioral tests of some kind and came back with, oh, I have autistic styling.
Which I'm not sure if that term is still used. I know the terms have changed a lot over the years, but that's what it was said on the piece of paper at the time was autistic styling.
Honestly, though, I've never thought a whole lot of about it, but I always did observe, like myself acting differently from a lot of other kids growing up. I like to pace a lot. I know I like to talk, or nowadays just mumbled myself as quietly as possible just because I know talking to myself out loud is kind of disruptive.
The other stuff and kind of the other thing too, is for a little while, I had some trouble with taking people at face value.
Yeah, no, I perfectly understand sarcasm. I use sarcasm all the time.
[00:13:24] Speaker C: Yes, you do.
[00:13:26] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:13:28] Speaker C: He is the master of sarcasm.
[00:13:32] Speaker B: So I guess I kind of break that stereotype of people with autism.
And I did have a lot of counselors growing up. I had some counselors through elementary school, middle school, high school. I think it wasn't until about college that I stopped having, like, a dedicated counselor for me. And even then, like, in the high school, counselors were like, almost like. Was it like once every three months is when we check in, just see how I was doing, like school work and maybe handling my peers, so on and so forth. Nowadays, I do have a therapist I see regularly, but autism isn't something that comes up in those conversations. It's there on the record. I like to bring it up just to help them out on their end. But for me, it's not really something that I actively think about or work on or worry about all the time. Most because I feel like middle school and as a kid, all that counseling kind of helped me really understand myself and how I operate.
[00:14:35] Speaker A: How did the knowledge that you were both neurodivergent, that the beginnings of your relationship, did that bring you to close? So what you like, oh, not a big deal or what?
[00:15:04] Speaker C: Well, the thing was pretty much all My friend group growing up was some combination of ocd, autistic, adhd.
So I honestly didn't even notice. It just never came up because that was just the norm for me. That was the group I always fit into. So it was never something I even thought about. I don't think I even knew that he had autism until like two years into our relationship.
[00:15:34] Speaker A: Wow. Okay. Wow.
Yeah. Wow.
I have no follow up to that. It's just like.
Okay. How did you two find Dr.
[00:16:00] Speaker C: I went with them.
[00:16:03] Speaker A: Freddie, how did you find Dr.
[00:16:09] Speaker B: Yeah. After I left for graduate high school, I wanted to kind of get away from my parents church just because it really wasn't my crowd. It was primarily like old people, like above their 40s and a lot of younger, like middle schoolers really. So for someone in their 20s, I really didn't fit in. They had an English ministries group, but that was more for people in their 30s at the time or it started off as a youth group, but everyone kind of grew older. People were getting married, people were having kids, People were moving away to Phoenix and Texas and other places. So really just kind of my niche started shrinking. So I went looking for another church. Come college and Dr.
I told myself I was going to do a little bit of church shopping. I try out this place, I try out that place. And I just went to one Dr.
Sermon. I was like, you know what? This place is fine. I don't feel like rolling the dice on more places. Who knows what I'm gonna wander into.
Good enough for me. And that's how I stuck with Dr. For like almost 10 years now.
[00:17:19] Speaker A: Yeah. So I also joined Dr. When I was a student at the UA. 10 years ago. No, 11 now.
Well, I'm old, so I. I found.
I went to a social fair that they had of the different faith groups and there's a lot of them on the campus. And Renee, one of our members and teachers, talked my ear off. Ryan was there, but we didn't speak. We just nodded.
Which, remember that because it's gonna be very ironic in a minute. So about two weeks later, no, a week later, I'm taking a ballroom dancing class at Studio, which I think it's still around, called shall we Dance?
[00:19:01] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah, I'm pretty sure. Oh.
[00:19:04] Speaker B: Is that the place on Grant Road?
[00:19:07] Speaker A: I. I think so. Legs.
When I went there, it's.
[00:19:14] Speaker C: It's not still around anymore. But the old owner is now a manager. He was my manager when I worked out Dream Dance, a different studio. So he's still.
He's still dancing but he doesn't own the studio anymore.
[00:19:31] Speaker B: Yeah, I think his old studio is now like an antique furniture store game.
[00:19:37] Speaker A: That's too bad because I used to go there just to rudge up on my ballroom skilled cards like you do. I got into ballroom in middle school, high school because I like to dance.
Shocker.
You'll see how much in a few months. Truds me what party? Oh yeah, yeah. But I would the only single guy without a partner.
And there were a lot of couples, but this one couple really knew they'd stop and it was this medium guy and this college girl and I thought because she looked significantly younger than this guy who will remain nameless for right now that oh yeah, this is judge an older brother helping out his younger sister prepare for her high school mom. And so I kept circling them, watching their legs like a hawk. I mean I was obsessed with their legs and watching every move they made because they really knew their shit. I mean it was incredible.
And so about two weeks later, I stumble into the student union. I mean, I mean stumble in just randomly. I wasn't drunk and I have poll coordination sometimes. Guys give me a break.
But.
And so it was this new judge new to me called Dr. I didn't remember anyone there.
And so the pastor comes up and he knows my name already, but I'm not wearing a name tag. So I do a double blank and I'm like, have we met before?
How do you know my name? Are you mine reader or something like that? I would really young you guys. And he's like, oh yeah, we met at shall we dance a few weeks ago. I was there with my fiance and everything hit me like a beautiful ton of bricks. That is literally how I met Ryan Miller. And then Megan tradition now Megan Miller.
And I've known them for over 11 years.
I felt so embarrassed that for the first two years I kept apologizing to Megan for checking out her legs. I felt that that self conscience. I didn't apologize to Ryan. I. I've never apologized.
That is literally how I met two of my bed's prints on the dance floor. And if people ask me if there is a God, I just told them that story. And someone had to be up there holding those strings because that's too much of a creative story to have been randomly like you two meeting on the dance floor.
So that's how I became involved with Dr.
And I've been going there ever since then. I'll probably never leave, but.
So what were your birds impressions of coming in to Dr. And getting you to the church group because it is very diverse group of people that have.
Have only gotten more diverse over the years instead.
Not every church of faith group can claim that. And so how would that.
[00:26:21] Speaker C: You first.
[00:26:23] Speaker B: All right. So for me, I guess I came out there and like understandably, well coming out of my parents church, understandably, everybody warning me is like, hey, just so you know, there are a lot of weirdos on campus, a lot of faith groups that are not who they say they are.
So I kind of went into Dr. Just kind of like scrutinizing things a little bit. Like sure, I felt comfortable. I met some people that I did I like and wanted to get to know. But I also did kind of keep my guard up. Like I'm chilling looking at this. Okay, what are they doing differently and is it something that's going to matter? And I'll be frank. When they said there was going to be a retreat like within two months of starting the semester, I was like, wow, really? A retreat into the middle of the desert?
This.
[00:27:13] Speaker A: Yeah, we. We still do that every year.
[00:27:21] Speaker B: You still do that every year. But I went anyway. But I was kind of joking to myself like yeah, this totally doesn't feel like the opening to some wackadoo horror movie.
[00:27:34] Speaker C: I mean we found a scorpion in the girls dorms that one retreat and they had to get all the girls out so that the guys could come in and kill it.
[00:27:45] Speaker A: I lodge my train of thought.
[00:27:49] Speaker C: It happens.
[00:27:51] Speaker A: Yeah, it happens. It's really odd when it happens when I'm live recording. You mentioned before we started recording that I'm the professional here.
I don't doubt that. But I always like to say flippingly because like Freddy, I'm a sarcastic person. If you think I'm professional, then James Bond is also a Christian.
Yeah, yeah, I judge said that live on air.
If ever there is a sound bite, it's gonna be that.
So how.
How have people accepted the no divergence of not only your relationships but growing up and to let degree for you? Meg, in 2020 did the eventual diagnosis change how people viewed or treated? You mentioned earlier that your friends group was dementia of divers disabilities, so I assume not.
But I don't know.
[00:29:47] Speaker C: I think, I mean with my friend group, most of us also weren't diagnosed until probably about college age. So we know we were just doing our thing as teenagers. And looking back we're all kind of collectively like, yeah, that makes sense. Oh well. But I think mostly it was like older generations that they would.
There's a lot about ocd, they didn't understand. And it frankly, I didn't understand either because like I said earlier, the media just shows, oh, you have to have everything, like perfectly straight and in order. If you've seen my room, you know, I am not organized. Yeah, I'm a germ phobe. And most people are like, oh, you have ocd. That explains your giant bottle of hand sanitizer. I'm like, shut up.
But I don't know, for the most part, I think it just, it got passed off as like laziness. Like, it takes me a lot. I was really good at school. I got straight A's, 4.0 GPA. I was great at school because school, they don't care how long you take to do your homework. What matters is the finished product. And I take forever to get things done because I'm so thorough. It's that OCD perfectionism in me. So at school, I was great at school, but when it came to doing my chores or my first couple of jobs, they'd be like, okay, why is it taking you like an hour to do this 15 minute task? You're just slacking off.
But I'm not. It's just I'm a very methodical person because of my neurodivergency. I like, you know, slow and steady wins the race. But people don't always see it that way, especially in the corporate world. They're just, go, go, go. We're paying you by the hour, so make the best out of your time. But I don't want to screw something up. I'd rather build that trust and relationship with, you know, my clients, whoever I'm working with, instead of just throwing out something as fast as I possibly can. But that doesn't always get up to management.
Although recently I started a new job at a print shop and one of my co workers who's been training me, he's, he's been really encouraging me because he has OCD as well and he's very open about it. And I don't know, I thought that was very encouraging that he's pretty well liked in the workplace. He's not all ashamed of his ocd. He uses it to make really good at work at a print shop. He makes good final products. And yeah, that was just kind of encouraging to me because my previous jobs were like, oh, why is this taking you so long? Like, the customers love me. The management, not so much. But now just like seeing other people with my same neurodivergency, a little bit older, more established than I am. It gives me hope that like I do have the possibility to thrive in the workplace.
[00:32:49] Speaker A: What about you, Freddie? Because I, I remember that during the first few years of your time at Dr.
We didn't really speak, we just nodded at each other or stared at each other and act.
At that time I, I wasn't the advocate I am now. I, I always suspected. Well, maybe, but I wouldn't going to come out and ask you that and have that be the fudge impression of me now.
I would have a way of finessing it, but certainly not then.
I mean, I just viewed you as a shy, mixed dogsy type of person who didn't have to speak towards George. Fine. Observing people.
[00:34:25] Speaker B: Yeah, that has kind of always been me. Like, I always like to keep my distance, be the observer and not really participate.
[00:34:34] Speaker A: Hold on, Meg, I hope you don't mind that I just referred to your fiance as a mixed dotsy.
Wanted to put that out there.
[00:34:51] Speaker C: I mean, that's the first one, but yeah, he's definitely more the reserve type. Not as much around me, but people just kind of like acquaintances, people that don't know him so well, they're like, oh, your fiance, he, he's so quiet, he doesn't say much. I'm like, yeah, you should see him when he's scrolling through memes on Reddit.
[00:35:14] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, Granny, continue.
[00:35:21] Speaker B: Yeah, so I guess in terms of acceptance, I, yeah, growing up, I don't think I really had a whole lot of.
I didn't have the same kind of friend group that Meg had in terms of like people who were definitely neurodivergent. I mean, thinking back, I feel like I generally got along more with like the quirkier kids, but at the same time it's, you know, I was kind of a social butterfly. Could chit chat with the quote unquote popular kids, the stereotypical popular kids. But my main two friend groups were always the nerds or the theater kids.
And as for like kind of also emulator what Meg was saying about her neurodivergence and how it works for me in the workplace, I don't feel like I leverage it in the workplace as much.
I mean, I do it. So that's more of a like analytical think about what's going on, break down the steps. So to an extent, yeah, but not to the same.
I don't think I go the same way as a Meg where I'm going through every detail, being that super detail oriented. It is very important and I can be detail oriented, but I feel like where it really does shine is when I'm just working on my own personal projects. Like, I do a lot of creative writing. I run Dungeons and Dragons groups for Megan, a bunch of my friends. And I feel like that's kind of where I leverage it the most, is getting into those nitty gritty details that it's fun for me. I know. Realistically, are my players going to interact with this? Probably not. But it's fun for me. And sometimes I have to remind myself that, right. If I'm going to like, deep dive some topic, I may as well deep dive something that I know my players are going to interact with or something for me to use if I need to improvise something right there on the spot.
But anyway, yeah, detail orientedness does come up for me just a little differently.
[00:37:27] Speaker A: How did you two come to faith?
How I came to faith is my mother always wanted me to go to Sunday school to learn the Bible stories to develop good moral back phone and then stop going.
And I ended up not doing that.
Of course. I ended up playing Joseph in the Crimson Pageant seven years in a row.
[00:38:17] Speaker C: Nice.
[00:38:17] Speaker A: Seven. It's a big number in the Bible.
[00:38:24] Speaker B: So they made me be a wise man every single year or a shepherd.
[00:38:30] Speaker A: They only cut me off being Joseph because my future held started to come in. I. I don't know, they probably just used that as a skews.
And so my journey to faith came through that. But I also have to believe that there's someone of their goods. I have to know, why me? Why did you make me?
Yeah, so that.
That is really the personal motivation of my faith.
So. And if I ever get back on teaching him, maybe I'll preach that summon ab.
I'm interested in knowing how you two came to faith. Was it just you grew up around it or was it more personal journey or something in between that.
[00:39:59] Speaker C: I think for me, I grew up in the church. I mean, my mom's a minister. But my OCD definitely got in the way of my relationship with God because, you know, you take perfectionism on a cosmic scale and now the world is literally resting on your shoulders and I'm like, okay, well, Jesus died on the cross for me, but I still messed up, so I'm still gonna feel bad about.
And like, yeah, so I would say probably just my OCD really got in the way. But then once I started going to college, started coming to doctor, got my diagnosis, I think I've slowly been just kind of unraveling myself. Like, I think one thing that the people at Damascus Red have really been teaching me is that it's okay to be me. I was made in this certain way and we really don't have to be perfect.
You know, I, I think I have a little bit of workaholic tendencies. But one thing I think that's been really helpful with that is just trying to learn how to rest well, because once I start going, I just stay going and then I'm exhausted.
But knowing the limits, knowing that, you know, the things I like to do or the things that make me happy, I'm not required to fit in. I'm the way that I am for a reason. And that's good and that's okay.
[00:41:35] Speaker A: Follow that.
[00:41:38] Speaker B: Yeah. So for me, I guess my parents were also like, also have been Christian. Even though to me as a kid it felt a little spontaneous because I, for the longest time I didn't really know we were Christian until my mom just suddenly said when I was eight years old, one day it's like, hey, we're going to church this Sunday. I was like, oh, okay. And I would kind of go here and there. Felt more like just a thing I would go to on Sunday or Friday. And I don't think I really took things too seriously until I was baptized as a teenager. And as for me, yeah, I also had some pretty similar questions with Meg as well. And I think, yeah, also my neurodivergence got in there too. Like one of the big things that I still kind of debate back and forth today is all predestination versus pre knowledge. And as much as I'd love to get into that topic right now, I don't want to turn your poor podcast into a four hour experience with three people who to my knowledge have never been to seminary.
[00:42:44] Speaker C: I, I can't think about predestination too hard. It stresses me out.
[00:42:49] Speaker A: The.
[00:42:50] Speaker C: No.
[00:42:53] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, that's a good call. I, I mean it. All of friendship has certainly evolved over the years, like your relationship.
I was very, very touched when I would sick of one of the Sundays I would suppose to be at church. Well, not supposed to. I was going to be there, but I would sick. And I, I try not to go to church when I'm really sick. You know, know what I have because we have young kids there. And, and so I got a very, very long text from Freddie that boiled down to will you be a groomsman? And you guys were at another church wedding and I actually called you right before it started. And these were my exact words to Freddy.
Yet a thousand times yet. Because when am I ever going to use those lines as a guy to.
I mean it was incredibly touching.
And I got to take you guys out to do your engagement dinner, which is still a highlight of not only that, but of my life.
And we could talk for hours and hours but wrapping up in case there are any inspiring advocates, inspiring ballroom dancers, inspiring neurodivergent couples wanting to know how the magic happens or how to make self advocacy or ballroom dance or action work all art.
What would be some advice you would give the listeners and viewers of this video? Cats, I would say, by the way, none whatsoever, Pun very much intended.
[00:46:22] Speaker C: Yeah. So I would say on a personal level, just try to keep things in perspective. You're not the only one that would have this neurod divergency.
And also I feel like sometimes, I mean there's a little bit of this in any group you see, but like the older generations, you know, are sometimes not as open about getting diagnosed with neurodivergencies. Like it of course always existed, but it was just viewed very differently back then. But also just knowing like having a neurod divergency just doesn't mean you're young and dumb. It's just a fact of life that people of any age have. And yeah, you're not alone. It's not something that is just, oh, I'm too immature for this. It's not a maturity issue, it's just a fact of life. And then as far as you know, Freddie and I are a neurodivergent couple. I think when it comes to interacting with others with neurodivergencies, it's just taking your time to do your research, trying to understand and also listen because I mean he and I are different and you know, I try to do my research, try to understand why I can. But also I don't want to assume anything because like autism's not my own lived experience.
And I've sent him a few articles on like OCD as well that I thought summed up how I felt pretty well. So just taking that time to understand each other but also not jump to conclusions if it's not your own lived experience. Just having an open mind.
[00:48:05] Speaker B: Yeah, and I still have those articles that she sent me just sitting on my phone web browser, just always there.
[00:48:14] Speaker A: Happy wipe, happy life.
[00:48:18] Speaker B: Yeah, and I guess my advice as well is I'm gonna abridge a Sun Zoo quote. This isn't the complete quote, but I'm going to abridge it to the important parts. If you know yourself, you need not fear the results of a thousand battles. And that's been my lived experience with autism. All those counselors, the original diagnosis, the different little groups I was a part of growing up through, like late elementary school, middle school, even like early high school, all these little groups I was a part of really helped me understand myself, how I work. And it really helped clarify a lot of things moving forward with oh, so that's why other, I guess neurotypical or whom I assume were neurotypical people because everyone's probably got a little bit neurodivergency to some extent operate. Yeah, that's what really helped me a lot is understand myself. And that's the advice I'd like to give to is take the time to learn about yourself. Look at the resources. If there's groups out there, attend the parents. Like if there's any parents listening to this podcast, if you know your kids neurodivergent, take a look around. When my mom signed me up for all those Lola counseling groups and support groups here and there, I think that helped a lot. Do them that favorite. That's what I would say. Some practical advice.
[00:49:38] Speaker A: So I'd like to thank that both advocates with disabilities and those who have yet to discover or embrace their own disabilities listen and watch this program.
But I'm not naive to think that both groups or groups within those groups take the same things away from each episode. So adds my guts.
What do you hope that advocates with disabilities take away from the Z?
And what do you hope that people who have yet to embrace or discover their disabilities take away from the zeppelin zone?
[00:50:46] Speaker C: I think for people who have yet to embrace their disabilities, I say try to go as easy on yourself as you can. Can.
It's not easy.
I don't think anyone ever said it's easy, honestly. And if they are, they're full of crap.
But try to have grace for yourself.
Don't beat yourself up all the time.
You're good, you're a beautiful person and embrace that. That's something I've been trying to teach myself. And as far as people who may or may not have neurodivergencies or maybe you have like a specific type is just like I said just a little bit ago. Try your best to understand others with an open mind. Think or listen more than you speak.
[00:51:42] Speaker B: Yeah, I would have to honestly just have para what Meg said for people who have yet to discover or embrace that like that is you bring something to the table that other people do not bring. Like for me, it's that kind of deep level of detail down to like that same tree branches that Tolkien would like describe in Lord of the Rings. Or at least that's how the stereotype goes. Not to get into stereotyping and well, I don't know what abilities or I guess powers that a listener may have that they've yet to discover or embrace, but I do hope that one day they find that. And for people like, who have like embraced that again, my takeaway, just like Meg is have that grace for yourself. Life is not about getting that perfect 100% run every single day.
Live and learn. A bad a bad day today. Tomorrow's a new day.
[00:52:47] Speaker A: Yes Gods med seeds are made new every day. So Vince episode will come out.
The wedding was fantastic, guys. It was one of the highlights of my wife and I didn't even get married yet. Yet Keyboard yet, yet, yet and yet.
And when this episode comes out, you two will be back from your honeymoon.
So welcome back. I hope you had a great time and I honest love you too very much. As a couple, you are great friends of mine, great brother and sister in Christ, and it is the honor of my life to not only watch you go, but to walk beside you two in faith. I do have one request and one warning.
Please do not name your son she do not resent that temptation.
Trust me. Trust me. Trust me. And I look forward to being friends forever. And I'm so glad that you two came on and shared your beautiful story and I hope that it empowers listeners and viewers.
God wedge you both.
[00:55:07] Speaker C: Thank you so much for having us. You're so sweet.
[00:55:20] Speaker A: You have been listening to Disability Empowerment Now. I would like to thank my guests. You are listener and the Disability Empowerment team that made this episode possible.
More information about the podcast can found at disability empowerment now.com or on our social media Disability Empowerment Now.
The podcast is available wherever you listen to podcasts or on the official website. Don't forget to read, comment and share the podcast. This episode of disability empowerment knowledge copyrighted 2020.
